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...whether we're ready or not. It'll be a strange kind of Christmas this year, one we always knew would happen sooner or later, one we kept hoping to avoid regardless of this knowledge. It'll come and we'll celebrate it the same way we do every year, and yet it'll be completely different then it's ever been. We'll enjoy Christmas Eve with some light food, a lit tree, candles burning and Christmas music playing softly in the background, and yet part of us and our thoughts will be miles away. Christmas morning we'll make coffee, take down our stockings and see what Santa has left us over night, we'll have a smile and a tear because we'll take down one stocking less then usual. The dogs will get their treats and we'll think of Christmases past.
21 years ago we had this skimpy, little Charley Brown tree with just a couple of presents underneath it but we were able to hold the best present ever in our arms, our then 7 month old baby. He was fascinated by the lights and the shiny ornaments and he received one of his favorite teddy bears back then, that bear carried him through many childhood boo boo's and problems.
Today that baby is a US Soldier and is stationed far away from home and therefore we'll spend our first Christmas without our son, and that alone makes it totally different then it has ever been. We were sad when we found out he couldn't make it home, but we certainly understand the reasons why.
We are happy that he is still in the same country and time zone as us, a blessing that many other Military families don't get to have this year, and I'll be thinking about each and every one of them. We know our son is in a safe place, together with friends, keeping warm without being horribly hot and doing well.
I had the chance to bring him Christmas early, to spend some time with him, to see where and how he lives and spends his days these days. I got to talk to him lots, laugh with him and just sit and enjoy his company for a few days and I will cherish this memory as much as many other memories from the past.
He's all grown up these days and one day he'll start his own Christmas traditions - which hopefully we'll still be a part of somehow.
This year however his Dad and I will sit, have our Christmas coffee and share some stories we haven't talked about in a while and maybe dig up some old pictures to remind us of that very first family, Charley Brown holiday together.
Merry Christmas to All!
For a long time I was pretty comfortable in the fact that the Army wasn't completely foreign to me, that I had some clue as to how things work and didn't have quite as many open questions as some parents who's kids surprise them with the fact that they are becoming a Soldier. But let me tell you something, being an Army wife 18 years ago and being an Army mom now are two totally different stories. You set your cell phone to a certain ringer so that you always know when it's your kid calling, and you answer that call just about anywhere. You want to see pictures of where they live now, you want to hear more about their day to day life then you ever thought you'd ask for and you're trying to learn the fact that you're not going to get all the information that you might want.
The phone calls, far and few in between during Basic Training become very frequent during AIT, thank's to cell phones. Then once they get to their first permanent duty station the calls still come in almost daily for a while and although you're very happy about all this communication you know that any day now it'll stop. Hopefully not all together but it will become much less frequent because let's face it, we didn't call home on a day to day basis once we moved out did we? Once life on our own really got started I was to busy to call home daily, sometimes days without ever talking to my parents would pass before I knew it. I had a child to raise and a new country to get used to. And now my child has a Military career to get under way, and has to make his own new home - at least for the time that he'll spend there.
So now we relish in the small things and are happy to every once in a while hear that we are still needed by our kids - mostly for moral support and sending homemade baked goods :-))
Cell phones & Internet make it easier then ever to stay in touch and even if it's just a quick "good morning" or "I love you".
Right now I'm a little sad because this Thanksgiving will be the first one we'll be spending without Erich and we're not entirely sure what to do with ourselves yet. There is also a chance that he won't be home for Christmas and I know that will make me sad and he would be very much missed if that'll happen.
But I'm well aware of the fact that we can count ourselves blessed because at least he's still in the same country and out of harms way for the time being.
I've always supported our troops but I've become much more aware of the dangers of it all and since I've become friends with other Army Moms, which are a great support group, I've also seen how hard it can be when their kids have to head to places that are everything but safe. Through the same bunch of women I've learned of very, very sad things and I've got to witness very, very happy moments, all of them emotional in one way or another.
Because they may be all adults now, and they may be proud Soldiers now - in the end they are still our kids and always will be.
His leave is up and he heads back out. And I realize full well that that's the way it's going to be from now on - that he will only come home on vacation and no longer lives here. Each time he'll come and take something else back with him until there won't be any of his things left in "his" room. But you know what? It's ok! I miss him and wish he was closer, but he's a grown man now and although he doesn't have any problems acting like a 13 year old when together with friends, he's proving again and again that he's not a teenager anymore. He's also learning to be an adult at the same time.
Suddenly being a Soldier and living on post without being told each step he has to make is a bit confusing at first. To realize that this is now your job, you get up in the morning, do your pt, go train and work your job and then go home, change into civilian clothes and do whatever it is one does - it's a new experience.
So hubby and I have had to learn to let go, and Erich has had to learn to go and I think we're all starting to get used to this situation. None of this means that we're any less close. Erich will always be our 'boy' and I hope we'll always continue to have the tight relationship we have now, eventually perhaps with more members added to the family. We continue to talk just about every day and I like that, that's where cell phones and the internet come in handy. I'm sure that too will stop one day and phone calls will happen less frequently but that too is fine as long as I know he's happy an healthy.
He seems to be doing well in his new place, has a nice room with everything he needs, is in a pretty area and is meeting new people. There is much left to learn, about the job and about life and I'm sure he'll master all of it.
The date was the 11th of September 2010 - and this time it was a great date! Erich was to finally come home to visit after finishing AIT and starting his first duty station in VA. It was also a Saturday and his Dad and I were getting all geared up to pick him up from the Airport that late evening.
The day started slow for I didn't have to work and sat at home with a cup of coffee thinking about how great it will be to see my Soldier. Erich had called and we talked on the phone for a while. Shortly after said phone call my doorbell rang. To be honest I have to say that I didn't feel like opening the door because let's face it, I was being lazy and wasn't even dressed yet and the last thing I felt like doing was talking to someone trying to sell me something at the door. And so I tried to ignore the bell but it rang again and the dogs barked loudly again. I peeked through the blinds and didn't see a car nor a person and I figured the mailman must've dropped something off. Just turned away from the window when the bell rang again!! Ok ok, I decided to throw some clothes on and see who insists on buggin me on a Saturday morning.
And I'm sure you guessed it.............................I opened my door and had a full fledged Soldier standing there with a big old grin on his face! My first reaction was a friendly tap on the back of his head together with the words: "you're not supposed to be here yet"! Followed by a big old bear hug and utter joy to have him home. I was not the only one happy:
He had been in town since the night before, hidden by his friends, knowing all along that he wanted to surprise his parents. Guess that was the payback for his surprise going-away party back in April ;-)
Before showing up at home he had gone and scared his Dad half to death at his work, even managing to bring a few happy tears to Dad's eyes in front of everyone.
Since coming home he's been out a lot with friends. Trying to see everyone, spending the night here and there and everywhere, sometimes even at home. He's making sure to spend quality time with Mom & Dad as well and bring friends to the house to hang out and chit chat, we enjoy having them around.
I'm at awe watching the man he has become while still being my friendly and sweet son.
It'll be hard to let him go again come Saturday the 25th but then it will be time for him to start the next step in his journey and if all goes as planned he'll be back home for Christmas.
The moral of this story? You just never know who's gonna show up and ring your doorbell!
As I sit here with nothing much to do for the day I keep thinking how much all of our lives have changed during the past few years and I wonder what will happen next. Look at Erich. How excited were we when the time came close for him to finish High School (something we thought we might never see there for a while - LOL) and what a milestone that was. On the heels of it followed a few years of uncertainty as to which direction to take his life. He tried moving away, tried coming back, tried college, tried finding a job and eventually realized that none of these tries were working out for him, although I'm sure he needed each one to get him where he is today.
At the beginning of this year he decided to become a Soldier, and regardless of my fears and feelings about the subject there really wasn't any other choice but to be proud and supportive. I hoped daily that he wouldn't regret the choice he made and that he would find the confidence and strength to pull through those first few difficult months of training - everything else would come with time.
And boy did he ever. He went from a kid almost 21 years old that could barely do a handful of push-ups to a full grown man of 21 years old doing many, many push-ups within 2 minutes. He went from not knowing what to do with himself the next day to knowing what he wants and knowing that it's in his power to get if he only applies himself.
He's made tremendous changes during the last 5 months, physically as well as mentally and I can only assume that the next year or so many more changes will be happening.
Erich has completed basic training and is as good as done with advanced individual training, only 4 more days to go and another graduation will be happening for him. At this very moment we are not sure yet where the next step in his journey will be, if he will remain stateside for a bit or head on overseas - but it doesn't matter all that much. He will go where ever he's needed and where ever he's asked to go and he will make the best of it.
But first he'll be home for 2 weeks and we can't wait to have him here with us and to spend some time with him.
And then, with much curiosity will we ask and see: what's next?
So after our weekend together after his BCT graduation he was suppose to move on with his AIT, advanced individual training. He moved from his old barracks into his new barracks, his old unit to a new one, from one company to the next.
After all the moving and doing and preparing for AIT he got his first real taste of Army hurry up and wait - him and a bunch of other soldiers got held back from their start date because to many soldiers started training that week and not enough open spots. Which brought with it the move from the new barracks to some other new barracks, from one company to another company, plus some pt and lot's of cleaning - and more cleaning. Then there was some bored waiting around and oh did I mention, they got to do a lot of cleaning :). Today should finally be the day that school at least started. Haven't heard anything new yet but the perks of AIT are that he can call home nearly every day, sometimes even twice and we don't have to anxiously await the Sunday phone calls anymore. Missing a call doesn't feel quite as horrible since we know we can try to call him back in the evening or text him.
I can't wait to hear about the new things he'll learn during this step. Plus in a few short weeks he should find out where his first duty station will be and of course we're all very excited to hear where he'll wind up first. Overseas or State side? In one of the places he noted on his 'wish list' or someplace totally different? Will he like it there and what new things will happen in his life then?
So many things are going to come his way yet, things he can't quite fathom yet I think, things that will surprise him even though he thinks he's prepared. Good things, bad things - some of which we might be able to help him through, most he'll have to go through by himself. Live and learn will take on a whole new meaning.
But no matter what he hopefully knows that we will always be here to listen and help whenever and where ever we can.
The graduation ceremony was wonderful and my son, although still pretty bruised and banged up looking, looks great and we couldn't be prouder!
For all those that said: "you won't recognize him and it'll take you forever to find him" - you were wrong 
. We spotted him immediately during formation. But he did change of course, stronger in body and mind. Yet still my boy.
We arrived in St. Louis Tuesday afternoon, picked up our rental car and drove the 2.5 hrs. to the Super8 in St. Robert where we checked in and put our stuff away. Then we drove to Fort Leonard Wood, about 10 minutes away depending on traffic and got a map at the gate. Drove around for a bit seeing where we needed to go next day. After that we grabbed some dinner at Ryan's Buffet (not horrible, nothing to write home about either), went swimming at the hotel and then just watched TV and went to sleep. The next morning my sister-in-law and her family arrived from Michigan (surprise for my son) and together we headed back to post.
Found a parking spot and followed the crowd to the front of his units barracks where they stood at formation already.
After a little while we got a short briefing along with the soldiers and then they were released to the family. Big hugs for Mom & Dad and then he spotted the rest of the family and just couldn't believe they were here.
After all the big hello's Dad and him got in line to sign him out for an on post pass until 15:30 hours that day.
We went to the PX with him so he could get a few things he needed, ate some lunch on post (there was no meet & greet or eating in the chow hall or anything like that) and spent some time in the Museum before taking him back to his unit.
Next morning of course was Graduation and to be honest I still have so many feelings about that day that it's hard to put into words. The ceremony was wonderful and everyone stood proud - and was as loud as possible with the hooah's and bulldog bark (my son's platoon), it was great. Afterward he was able to go of post with us until evening and then Friday, after moving to his new unit (he's doing 7 weeks AIT at FLW too) we got to pick him up again and keep him with us until we had to leave to go back to the Airport this morning.
I am in awe of my son at this time and couldn't stop looking at him the entire time. He's undergone so many changes for the good and deep down is still my boy, still doesn't mind hugging his parents in public and showing the affection that he feels.
PVT E2 Erich Brown
