Once again time is drawing closer

And this time we couldn't be more excited! Everyone told me it would happen, everyone said that his time in basic training would go by fast and now that I'm looking back at the last couple of months I have to say everyone was not wrong. It's still 20 days away but I'm hoping these will also go by quickly and then I'm wishing for a couple of real slow days.
He's been doing well throughout most of his training, the only thing that could threaten his graduation from BCT now is if he doesn't get the number of push-ups he needs, but I have faith in him and more importantly, he has faith in himself so I'm sure he will pass this last hurdle yet. 
PT seemed to have been the most difficult time for him during training. During the first practice test he was 2 seconds slow on his run - yes, I said 2 seconds which would fail him during a real test. By next time he had shaved almost 3 minutes of his time and passed with flying colors. Sit-ups also not an easy thing for him, but those too he passed by now. The push-ups are still a little off but he'll be fine I'm sure. I believe the final test is next week on the 1st.


Last week they did had to qualify in marksmenship and he was one shot shy of sharpshooter! Yes, I said 1 shot ;). He's very good with taking care of his weapon and shooting it. He's got that from his momma *LOL*.


The heat in Fort Leonard Wood equals the heat here in SW Florida at this time and I can't say I envy our soldiers having to hike 10+ k's in full army gear, including back packs and such. Putting up tents, taking them back down all within a short amount of time. I'm sweating just making it through my regular days, I can't imagine having to do most of it dressed in long pants, shirts and without much A/C. But they do it, every day and for that, among many other things I have great respect for them.


Erich has asked for very little throughout his time in training. A few letters every week, some pictures of us, friends and dogs, cough drops, stamps, insoles for his boots and a phone card - all things I gladly sent out knowing they might make his day just a touch easier. 
Because the realization that there is less and less for you to do as mom, and less and less you can do in his life isn't always an easy thing.


Every letter and every phone call you cherish. You re-read his letters and read something new between the lines in almost all of them. You re-play the phone calls in your head and try to pay close attention to how he sounds. And you learn how much more there is to know about him, how many sides of him you didn't know before, and my guess is he didn't know about himself either.


In today's mail we received the first picture they ever took of him after he started. On the back of his Dad's picture he wrote: "Thank's Dad, you are the #3 reason I'm able to pull this off every day." And on the back of my picture he wrote: " And thank's Mom, you are the #2 reason I'm able and willing to pull this off every day." And in the short note attached to the pictures he wrote: "And the #1 reason is - myself". 
THAT is exactly what I hoped for, that he finally realize what a great guy he is and how much he has to give. That he finally finds confidence in himself and his abilities, and I think he's finaly getting there. He now knows that he's not doing things for us, but for his own life. If the Army wouldn't teach him anything else I know he already took something very important out of this experience. 
But I do hope there will be much more positive learning for him!!


Look at my little soldier..........

....and look at him now :)

Halfway there!

Well we've made it to the halfway point of BCT and I can't express the way his letters make me feel. Just today I've been missing him dreadfully and coming home I found his letter in mailbox, just like if I ordered it .

And I wish I could let you all read some of his letters because he "sounds" exhausted, mentally and physically - and at the same time you can read he's enjoying the things they teaching so very much. He's talking about the entire platoon getting smoked because after pitching 70 tents in administrative formation within an hour (which is good) the DS' then decided they'd rather have them in tactical formation which they did not manage to do on time.

Here a part of his letter: " So once we got 4 hrs. of sleep we moved on to the confidence course. Big obstacles, really tall ones, human ladders, 9 ft of the ground balancing beams. It was a lot of fun but I have giant ripped off calluses/ new blisters on my hands and mole skin doesn't work real well on hands.
And today we repelled off of the warrior tower. That was nerve wrecking as hell but after you took that first step so so much fun!
Things are getting easier but I still miss you every day."

There is so much excitement there and so much positive that I can't even wait to hear what he has to tell us next!!

Memorial Day

It's a day you've always known about. A day you might spend with friends and family for a cook-out and some togetherness. A day you welcome summer back for another season and a day you might enjoy off from work, just relaxing and perhaps watching a parade. 

That's how your Memorial Days have pretty much been going for years and then suddenly you've become the mom of a Soldier and you see things differently. You think of those having served before him, the ones that didn't make it back home, the ones that were hurt during battle and the ones that are still out there fighting and doing what every soldier does day by day - you think of all those more clearly. You think more of their families that are left behind, fighting their own battles and holding down their own forts. 
You look at the old veterans handing out little flags today, the ones marching in the parade and sitting on the sidewalks watching a little more intensely as you're wondering what they have experienced during their time in the service. And although you've always had a smile, a friendly hello and a nod of the head for them before, suddenly you want to go and shake each and every one of their hand and just thank them for their service. Thank them for all they have done in their lifetime to protect their country, to take care of their families and friends, to pave the roads for future soldiers, just like they will continue to pave it for future generations of soldiers. And you want to tell them you're glad they're here, glad they made it back safe and sound.

Happy Memorial Day!

3 weeks in

So it's been almost 3 weeks since Erich started his new path of life and although it's a hard road to take he seems to do well with it so far. Sure the hours are long, but not as long as he thought since he gets to bed early at night and seems to get a good 6 hours of sleep at least. 

He's already experienced things like getting a gun and learning to strip it down to the bare core, clean all the parts and put it back together. The Gas Chamber which is lot's of fun for all involved - ok, not really :) But he was proud that no one in his company threw up afterward, I am being told that that's a big deal! He's been a squad leader, has done lot's and lot's of cleaning since church isn't his thing on Sundays and has "enjoyed"  Missouri's ever changing weather (cold in the am, hot and muggy in the afternoon). 

He's learned that Basic Training isn't quite what it was when his father did it some 20+ years ago, that it's gone a bit 'softer' but that it's still a lot to take in, a lot of things physically and mentally to learn and deal with. Being away from home seems a lot harder then the first time around, being away from friends that he cares and worries about is tough for someone like Erich, not being able to call anytime he feels like isn't something he (or his parents for that matter) likes very much. But we're all aware that it'll get better further down that new path and that we're very proud of him already.
He's turned into a bit of a writer since Internet and phone aren't happening and so we get letters once or twice a week, which has us racing to the mailbox on a daily basis in the hopes to find more news from him. Just like we race to the phone each time it rings.

So missing him hasn't changed at this point and we can not wait to see him in July for his Graduation. But we're adjusting at home as he's adjusting away from home I'm sure. 
This, just like having him and raising him is a learning process for us all and nobody knows what the future will hold.

To be continued....... 

Happy Birthday Erich

21 years ago today I was exhausted, tired, sore and as amazed and happy as never before.
Shortly after meeting my (future) husband I became very ill and landed in the hospital for a day during which I was told by a doctor that I was not going to be able to have any children due to ovary and scare tissue issues, devastating news for someone that had always wanted to be a mom. I cried to the fairly new boyfriend who took care of me and cooked me dinner and I moved on with life trying to accept the situation as it was. A few months later I got sick with what I assumed to be the flu ~ turned out to be a pregnancy! 
Considering the circumstances I should've been happy but at first I was simply shocked. Jim and I had talked about marriage but had not made any final plans, I was young and had no direct plans as to the future, and I was scared what Jim might say or do. He was gone for a few days and upon his return I told about him our news and I don't think he could've been any happier. We decided to get married a little sooner then planned. Then the doctors came along and thought that it might not be a good idea for me to continue with the pregnancy, that as the baby would grow so would my problems and it might be better to end it right there. That came from the same doctors that told me I couldn't get pregnant in the first place and I did, so ending the pregnancy wasn't even an option. But they were correct, it would prove to be a difficult pregnancy at best - with many hospital visits and more doctor appointments then most people. It was scary, hard and painful but never did I have a shadow of a doubt that it was the right thing to do.
He was due on the 2nd of May, that day came and went without a single labor pain, and so did the next few days. I had check-up after check-up until the doc said it was time, whether the baby wanted to or not. Went into the hospital at 6pm on the 15th May and had labor induced shortly after. Contractions started and continued, but that was the only success for many hours. Early in the morning hours another induction, more labor, more pain - more of everything. Of course I was silly enough to want to do this the natural way and back then epidurals weren't exactly offered ahead of time. 14+ hours after going into the hospital my child finally decided that it was ok to come along and suddenly we had this healthy, happy, big baby boy in our arms. He looked just like his Daddy and had a head full of blond hair.


21 years ago today I was exhausted, tired, sore and as amazed and happy as never before. 21 years ago I gave birth to a little boy who would turn our lives upside down by making us grow up and teaching us many different things. 21 years ago I gave birth to a little boy who grew into a wonderful friend to many, a son we're very proud of and now a future American Soldier who will hopefully accomplish everything in life that will make him happy.


Erich, we miss you, we love you and we are more then thrilled that you've decided to join us so many years ago, you turned into a wonderful young man!

I wish I could...

...just pick up the phone and talk to Erich right now. The fact that we can't is proving to be the hardest part right now. Him not being physically here is a little odd but not really bad, but not being able to talk to him whenever, especially now that there is so much he would have to tell, is difficult. Just have to keep reminding myself that this will only be like this for BCT, once he gets to school or even later on it will be easier for him to call.
He did manage to call on Thursday even if it was for only 1.5 minutes. He mentioned that he had to fill out a ton more paperwork that day and that he had his hair cut. Then yesterday should've been uniform day and I'm guessing there will be some medical things to come such as shots and eyes. He wished me a happy Mothers day since he doesn't think he'll get a chance to call tomorrow. 
I've already started to write letters and don't even have an address yet :)

And so...

...the day arrived. This morning he slept in a little and then one of his best friends came over. Erich finished clearing out his room a little and packing his backpack with the few items he was able to take with him. We did a few more errands while Jim had to work for a few hours today. After the errands the boys took me to the local ice cream store and we had a few good laughs talking about their past as 'little' boys and some of things they pulled when younger.
Later more people came by to say good-bye and drop of some more phone cards for him (thank's guys!) and so we just spend the day doing this and that - doing it together.

After Jim arrived home from work we said farewell to everyone and started our 2 1/2 hour ride to Tampa. Once we reached the Hotel Erich went to sign in, get his room assigned and get instructions for the next few hours. Once that was done we were able to enjoy a dinner together at the hotel restaurant where many other new soldiers were eating as well. My first thought upon looking at them was: "good lord they're just babies!". Then I looked at my husband and thought: "good lord, we weren't any older then they are when we got married and had Erich and were in the Army". As a matter of fact we were exactly the same age.

We then stood outside for a  while and then came the moment I dreaded a little, the hugs and kisses good-bye. I didn't want to cry, I wanted the last thing he saw on my face this evening be a smile and pride, and not a teary mess. And that's exactly what he did get to see, no tears. So then he went back to his room and we headed back home.

Tomorrow morning him and the others will board a plane and start a new life. I feel like the road we've always traveled together now has split in 2 directions with him going a different direction then I am. And although I know that's the way it should be I'm still going to find this road a little harder to travel for a while.