skip to main |
skip to sidebar
21 years ago today I was exhausted, tired, sore and as amazed and happy as never before.
Shortly after meeting my (future) husband I became very ill and landed in the hospital for a day during which I was told by a doctor that I was not going to be able to have any children due to ovary and scare tissue issues, devastating news for someone that had always wanted to be a mom. I cried to the fairly new boyfriend who took care of me and cooked me dinner and I moved on with life trying to accept the situation as it was. A few months later I got sick with what I assumed to be the flu ~ turned out to be a pregnancy!
Considering the circumstances I should've been happy but at first I was simply shocked. Jim and I had talked about marriage but had not made any final plans, I was young and had no direct plans as to the future, and I was scared what Jim might say or do. He was gone for a few days and upon his return I told about him our news and I don't think he could've been any happier. We decided to get married a little sooner then planned. Then the doctors came along and thought that it might not be a good idea for me to continue with the pregnancy, that as the baby would grow so would my problems and it might be better to end it right there. That came from the same doctors that told me I couldn't get pregnant in the first place and I did, so ending the pregnancy wasn't even an option. But they were correct, it would prove to be a difficult pregnancy at best - with many hospital visits and more doctor appointments then most people. It was scary, hard and painful but never did I have a shadow of a doubt that it was the right thing to do.
He was due on the 2nd of May, that day came and went without a single labor pain, and so did the next few days. I had check-up after check-up until the doc said it was time, whether the baby wanted to or not. Went into the hospital at 6pm on the 15th May and had labor induced shortly after. Contractions started and continued, but that was the only success for many hours. Early in the morning hours another induction, more labor, more pain - more of everything. Of course I was silly enough to want to do this the natural way and back then epidurals weren't exactly offered ahead of time. 14+ hours after going into the hospital my child finally decided that it was ok to come along and suddenly we had this healthy, happy, big baby boy in our arms. He looked just like his Daddy and had a head full of blond hair.
21 years ago today I was exhausted, tired, sore and as amazed and happy as never before. 21 years ago I gave birth to a little boy who would turn our lives upside down by making us grow up and teaching us many different things. 21 years ago I gave birth to a little boy who grew into a wonderful friend to many, a son we're very proud of and now a future American Soldier who will hopefully accomplish everything in life that will make him happy.
Erich, we miss you, we love you and we are more then thrilled that you've decided to join us so many years ago, you turned into a wonderful young man!
...just pick up the phone and talk to Erich right now. The fact that we can't is proving to be the hardest part right now. Him not being physically here is a little odd but not really bad, but not being able to talk to him whenever, especially now that there is so much he would have to tell, is difficult. Just have to keep reminding myself that this will only be like this for BCT, once he gets to school or even later on it will be easier for him to call.
He did manage to call on Thursday even if it was for only 1.5 minutes. He mentioned that he had to fill out a ton more paperwork that day and that he had his hair cut. Then yesterday should've been uniform day and I'm guessing there will be some medical things to come such as shots and eyes. He wished me a happy Mothers day since he doesn't think he'll get a chance to call tomorrow.
I've already started to write letters and don't even have an address yet :)
...the day arrived. This morning he slept in a little and then one of his best friends came over. Erich finished clearing out his room a little and packing his backpack with the few items he was able to take with him. We did a few more errands while Jim had to work for a few hours today. After the errands the boys took me to the local ice cream store and we had a few good laughs talking about their past as 'little' boys and some of things they pulled when younger.
Later more people came by to say good-bye and drop of some more phone cards for him (thank's guys!) and so we just spend the day doing this and that - doing it together.
After Jim arrived home from work we said farewell to everyone and started our 2 1/2 hour ride to Tampa. Once we reached the Hotel Erich went to sign in, get his room assigned and get instructions for the next few hours. Once that was done we were able to enjoy a dinner together at the hotel restaurant where many other new soldiers were eating as well. My first thought upon looking at them was: "good lord they're just babies!". Then I looked at my husband and thought: "good lord, we weren't any older then they are when we got married and had Erich and were in the Army". As a matter of fact we were exactly the same age.
We then stood outside for a while and then came the moment I dreaded a little, the hugs and kisses good-bye. I didn't want to cry, I wanted the last thing he saw on my face this evening be a smile and pride, and not a teary mess. And that's exactly what he did get to see, no tears. So then he went back to his room and we headed back home.
Tomorrow morning him and the others will board a plane and start a new life. I feel like the road we've always traveled together now has split in 2 directions with him going a different direction then I am. And although I know that's the way it should be I'm still going to find this road a little harder to travel for a while.
Hard to believe but it's almost time, 5 more days. He's had a quick test today involving running, sit and push-ups and passed that without any problems. He got directions to where we need to take him and will get a list of things he should be bringing with him. That list will be fairly short since they are to travel light and will be getting all Army gear after in processing.
Tuesday we will take him up to Tampa where he will be spending the night with other future soldiers at a special hotel. This is where we'll drop him off and say our good-byes. Then we'll head back home and he will get to bed early since his night will be over at 4:30 am. I don't know exactly when their flight leaves at this time, but it'll be sometime Wednesday morning I'm sure. Sometime in the afternoon he should arrive at Fort Leonard Wood, MO. where his in-processing begins. I've heard that usually takes between 4-6 days and then the real basic training will begin.
Of course I don't know the details but my blog won't end once he leaves, so everyone reading here will learn more along the way - just like I will.
So the longest wait for him is just about over. His room is all packed into different categories, things to be donated, things to keep for a later life, things he might want us to send once he has his first permanent duty station and things that can go in the trash.
He spends time with us, spends time with his friends and last night we spend time all together. We rented a home and threw him a going away/ early birthday surprise party - and boy was it a surprise. Not until about the last hour or so before did he know something was going on, but he had no clue what. That in part was due to his great friends who managed to keep their mouth shut and get him were he needed to be in the afternoon, I sure appreciated their help.
So many people came by too which made me very happy and hopefully showed him that people do care about him and what he is about to do. A lot of our friends that have known Erich for quite some time now, a lot of his friends, some from when he went to High School here and some that are a little newer but still pretty close - they all were a great bunch of young people.
Next week I'll be making a few more of his favorite dishes and next weekend we'll let him decide what he wants to do and how he wants to spend it. Tomorrow we should find out more details about where and when to drop him off on the 5th and I'm guessing the next few days will pass quickly.
Today I took the 5th of May off from work. The 5th of May is my sisters birthday, as well as my bosses birthday and of course Cinco de Mayo, none of which is the reason I won't be around that day. That day will be reserved for taking Erich and his one backpack to Tampa, to take him to MEPS, to drop him off and say good-bye. That's the day his life will change more then it ever has before, the day the biggest decision he's ever made for himself will come into effect. It's the day he will be heading to Fort Leonard Wood, MO for Basic Training and AIT.
We won't know when we'll hear from him next at this point. Won't know how long his in-processing will take and when the actual training will begin. Won't know when he'll be able to call or write, really won't know much for a while. But that's something we'll have to get used to since in the Army nothing is ever really sure to far ahead of time.
But right now he's still here and we're trying to spend as much time with him as possible. His dad does things with him like playing pool, I'm watching movies with him and cooking him is favorite foods - spoiling him a little more for the next couple of weeks after which no more spoiling will be done for quite some time ;-).
Today it's actually exactly one month away from when we will either drop him off at the recruiters or at the MEPS station, depending on what he prefers - we haven't talked about that yet. Of course this date will only remain intact if he can stop hurting himself like he did last Friday when he rolled his ankle off a curb and almost broke it - luckily he did not and it's healing quite nicely, even if it does have all the colors possible ;)
So anyway, the time has come for him to start packing up his room, to decide what he might want to keep for later on or what he wants to get rid of because he won't ever use it again. Time has come to think about him only being home for the occasional vacation or holiday. Time has come to realize that this is real, and I'm not talking about him leaving the nest, all children do eventually and I've never been a mother to cling on to her child to hard. I've let him go before, but somehow that was different. Although it was during an incredibly tough time I didn't try to talk him out of moving back to Michigan, I figured he'd be back within a couple for month. He wasn't and even though things were then very hard for him in Michigan I didn't try to talk him into coming back either and sure enough, 10 months later he did move back.
This time he will move out and be out for a signed up 6 years if all goes well, and of course we hope that all goes well, and after those 6 years he'll either continue with the Army or he'll be moving lord knows where, he'll be 27 then and possibly have his own family by then.
And it's not just that he's moving out, again - I do know how to let go, I had to do it enough throughout my life. It's more about where he's going that's making me worry. Oh not so much the first few month, I know he'll do fine through BCT and school, but what about after that? I will have to learn to let those thoughts go and just see this as the new part of his life that it is, with all the risks and growth it entails. I'm sure I will have good and bad days and I'm hoping to hear as much from his as possible, it'll help to know how he's doing.
One month away......so many things to take care of beforehand, to say, to do, to organize......so little time really.
